“HOW MUCH FOR THESE CRIBS?” The highfalutin accent was unquestionably a question from the lady returning from America. In fact, it was her first trip to anywhere outside Tobago.
She was at the gourmet store, apparently trying to “raise her profile” of purchases, vowing never to buy fish from the market, but instead procure her produce from more expensive epicurean outlets. Well, reader, these “cribs” were still alive and one of the claws tightened around her finger. “Juk he eye! Jook he eye!”
Her frantic screams exposed her affectation and caused me to stick the poor crab in its eye, so as to force it to let her finger go.
If you saw her, you would have never thought that this woman could cuss and get on bad so. She let loose some combinations that must have been invented!
Although she was dressed to the nines and had a figure eight, her invectives were infective, stinking up a rather clean, elegant setting. Kinda reminded me of the pig-in-the-palace text Andrew Corbin sent me last week. Clothes did not maketh the woman!
But it taught me a lesson: never judge others by the clothes they wear. Although in Simone Whittaker’s case you do indeed get what you expect.
Her combination of manners and brightness is a welcome anticipation. Whenever you see her, she is neat and well groomed.
Last Wednesday, Mrs Whittaker wore Mikimoto pearls and a Chanel dress, highlighted with some Gucci shoes. That night, however, both of us totally misjudged a lady from Belize when we realised she was wearing the same clothes, three nights in a row.
“Wait, why she wearing the same clothes every night so, though?”
“I was wondering the same thing, but you know some people not really into fashion.”
My response concealed my secret bewilderment about this repetition of apparel and also that I wore the same pants, twice.
Folks, it was so embarrassing. At the closing dinner of the final function, Miss Belize was awarded a 21-year-old bottle of Appleton Estate Rum, because – according to the master of ceremonies – she had flown all the way to the event, lost all three Louis Vuitton suitcases and still had no qualms about wearing the same clothes, night after night, simply to be a part of this team.
As we got to know her better, we found that she was one of the gentlest and kindest spirits you could possibly meet. In fact, when I told her how much I loved her bracelet later that evening, she took it off and put it on my wrist!
“To celebrate new friendships,” she chimed.
I’m not sure if it was affection or the Appleton, but it certainly was not affectation. How badly did we feel? Let’s just say we prayed real hard that night.
Before I go, just for Tricky Dick upstairs: I could jump through hoops, eat Froot Loops, clean a chicken coop and round up the troops . . . just to get in the mood for one big whoop!
Veoma Ali is an author, broadcaster, advertising exec and most important, a karaoke lover.
