Dear Christine,
I am 27 years old and the mother of two children. At present I am living at the home of my boyfriend’s mother and she treats me like a dog.
He has to work and support the whole household. I have been living here for the past eight months and a day has not passed without me crying. I have tried talking to him but I am getting nowhere. He is too concerned about who will support her if he leaves.
I have a young child for him and I would like somewhere comfortable to put him but I have no one to help me. I was living at a relative with the first child but was told to leave because of the second child.
His mother has asked me to leave her house because one of her children is coming home and she needs the space. I have asked my boyfriend to find somewhere for us but he has refused to do so.
Christine, what am I to do?
– ?
Dear ?,
Nowhere in your letter do I see an effort on your part to find a job. I know the job market is not the best right now but are you trying?
While I understand your present situation, my primary advice to you would be to get a job and try to be independent. You should not be depending on your boyfriend to totally look after you, the baby, his mother, the first child, himself and the house. By the way, is the first child his? I do not get the impression that it is.
His mother is not the problem at all.
While I am sorry about all that has happened to you, I also understand why your relative asked you to leave. To have one child is one thing but your attempt to bring two into her home was another matter. People should not be expected to tote other people’s responsibility.
You and all women should be extremely careful when getting involved with some types of men. To some of them, “a relationship” is just a sexual experience, where their sexual needs are met. However, for the woman, it’s a possible pregnancy.
If you find yourself having sex with irresponsible men, you ought to make sure they do not leave you holding a baby. It’s not fair to the child.
– CHRISTINE
