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DEAR CHRISTINE: She’s pregnant but won’t tell the father


DEAR CHRISTINE: She’s pregnant but won’t tell the father

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Dear Christine,

A FRIEND OF MINE is pregnant as a result of a one-night stand with an acquaintance.

She is planning to become a single mum. She has so far refused to tell the father of her child because she doesn’t want to “burden” him when she is happy to raise the baby alone. He’s a decent guy; he just doesn’t ever want to get married.  

So she keeps saying she feels bad to shock him with the news. I feel like it’s so wrong to keep something like this from him. Even if he decides he wants nothing to do with the baby, I feel like he should at least know and make his own decision.

Would it be totally out of line for me to tell him myself? I am a firm believer in minding my own business but I feel it’s completely wrong to keep this guy in the dark and have the decision made for him that he’s going to have nothing to do with his child. If it were me I would be completely outraged that someone prevented me from getting to know my own child.

– A

Dear A,

I am very sorry about the situation your friend has found herself in but she should not have to bear this pregnancy or the responsibility of raising that child on her own.

This man needs to know what is happening with your friend. The sooner she lets him know the better it would be for all concerned.

She could very well be surprised that he may want to be there for that child also.

You asked if it would be totally out of line for you to tell this guy that your friend is pregnant.

Yes, it would be totally out of line for you to do so.

Your friend needs to make this decision on her own. I am sure she is old enough to face this man by herself.

If she does not want to do so on her own, you can accompany her and offer any emotional support she may need.

When that child gets older, he or she will want to know who his or her father is. Your friend should give this man the opportunity to decide what he wants and give that child the opportunity to bond with the father from day one.