Dear Christine:
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED for 12 years. Almost all of that time, my husband has had affairs with women of all ages.
The most recent one is with a girl of 19. We have had many quarrels over these affairs and it has been very painful for me. The affairs do not last very long. I guess that’s why I keep hoping and praying that each one would be the very last.
Apart from his affairs, my husband can be considered a man who looks out for his family. Why is it necessary for him to run around like he does? I don’t know. I perform my duties as a wife, mother and housekeeper without fretting or complaining.
At times I think about leaving him but our two children are still very young. Since the majority of my relatives (including my parents and siblings but one) live and work abroad, I tend to keep to myself. With them out of the island, it makes it hard for me to find a real shoulder to lean on or pack up and leave my husband.
– MC
Dear MC,
I am sorry to hear about your situation. Some wives would do all they can to leave their family intact. It seems like you are doing so by sticking with your husband – who despite his many affairs, still provides for you and the children.
I can only hope that he will one day wake up and be a more responsible husband by dropping these affairs and being loyal to you and the children.However, wishing and hoping is not all there is in this situation.
You’ve got to ask yourself the following question: Is sticking around worth the pain and humiliation?
To have had one affair is one thing but to make it a way of living is something different.
Only you can truly know how much more of this “marriage” you can “bear”.
So, please, if it ever gets to the point where you need to get away from your husband’s “lifestyle”, don’t feel guilty at all. I’ll back you 100 per cent. How much must a person bear?
Who knows? Perhaps when you make the decision to walk away, your husband will see the need to change.
– CHRISTINE
