DEAR CHRISTINE: Boyfriend doesn’t like my family
My boyfriend is talking about getting married but says he does not really like my family as they are too old-fashioned and he does not want to see them around us too much.
Christine, I don’t see anything wrong with my family. My mother likes to know where we are going and what time to expect us home but she does not stop us going to the right places. We are even allowed to go to some parties and certain films. He has been trying to get me to sneak out and do things which my family would be totally against but I do not want to go.
I love this man very much but I also love my family who might be old fashioned but who makes our home very happy. I feel that after we get married I can go with him to the places he wants me to go but while I am in my parents’ home I do not feel I should do the things they warn me not to do. Can you help me? I am 19 years old. Do you think I am wrong to want to adhere to what my parents say?
No, you’re not wrong. You’re smart, intelligent and you’re doing the right thing.
Your recognition of your parents’ guidance is also worthy of note.
You need to stop and think about what this man is telling you. Take a long and careful look at him for he seems to have no regard for the values your parents have instilled in you. I also think it is rude of him to suggest to you that your parents are old-fashioned. If more people would ask for the old ways, life in this world would be so much better.
If you are harbouring plans of marrying this man, you need to do some real soul-searching. If in time he cannot acquire some of the qualities and values of your home folk, then walk away. Compatibility is important in any union and two of you stand on opposite sides of the fence right now. He has already made it clear he does not want your family around. The nerve of him! Leave him alone. You’ll be better off without him.