DEAR CHRISTINE: He’s begging back after deserting baby and me
I need your advice on this problem that I have.
I recently had a baby for a guy who did not stay by my side when I needed him most. He turned his back the moment he knew I was pregnant because for some unknown reason, he felt the child was not his own, although I did nothing to make him distrust me.
As a result, I was forced into a situation where I had to turn to someone else for help. This guy helped me with all I needed for myself and the little one.
Now after treating me so badly, the real father is coming around to make trouble, saying he does not want his child calling another man “daddy” and he wants me to come back to him.
Christine, I do not intend to. I feel if a man can leave a woman in her time of deep trouble, she should never have anything more to do with him again no matter what he might have to offer.
I feel even if he had doubts, he could have waited until the nine months were up and he could see the child was his; but he did not care whether I lived or died.
Please tell me what you think about my situation.
As it is right now, I do understand how you may feel about being rejected and left alone just when you needed him there at your side.
You knew you were carrying his child and even after he neglected you, you still brought that child into the world.
I think a deciding factor in your life would be whether or not you love him. If he has not totally erased any love you have for him, then perhaps you can find it in your heart to forgive him.
If you do not love him after his shoddy treatment, you will never be happy with him.
In addition, since you’ve put that bridge behind you, it would not be wise to turn back.
The child is legally yours and you are the fittest person to decide who will help you to care, nurture and raise that child. If he claims to be the father, then he should support the child without demanding you return to him. In fact, he does not have the authority to demand you do.
Love will forgive almost everything, but no one can honestly blame you if what you felt for him is no longer there in your heart. – CHRISTINE