DEAR CHRISTINE: Married man making a fool of his lover
I WANT to bring to your attention a matter which has been causing me grave concern.
I work in a company where there are just 25 employees. Two of them have been carrying on a relationship for the past year and it is well known by most of the other workers. What really makes us mad is that both of them are married with children.
One may argue that the woman should know better and leave the man alone, especially since she is older than he is. Others may think that since the man was only married for three years, he should be ashamed of himself, especially since his wife recently had a baby.
Truth be told, I personally think that both should be whipped. However, here is where the story gets even worse. This man is always bad-mouthing this woman to his friends and she has no idea how much he talks about her. Some of us who get word of what he has been saying are shocked by what he usually says.
He says things like, “she can’t keep a clean house”, “she can’t cook” and that he can have her when and wherever he wants and the husband cannot do anything about it. Do you think this is fair or manly?
Some of us in the office would love to tell her what this man really thinks about her, but we are afraid it could cost us big time, especially since he is a supervisor.
What do you think? Should we try to warn her or should we mind our own business?
– Some of Us
Dear Some Of Us,
First, let me say that the word “fair” does not exist in this man’s or woman’s vocabulary. Whatever the woman gets, she deserves. Both of them are being unfaithful to their spouses; yet as an older woman, she should probably be the one expected to bring this affair to an end. It is she who has set herself up for having her name smeared and it is she who must live with the consequences. This is not to indicate that they are not both wrong. They both are.
However, the concern you’ve shared may merit at least a warning, which can be given anonymously through a phone call. I won’t see this as meddling “per se” since both these individuals need to wise up and get their acts together.