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DEAR CHRISTINE: Three is not company


BARBADOS NATION

DEAR CHRISTINE: Three is not company

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Dear Christine,

I AM trying very hard not to show any anxieties over a friend my husband and I knew very well long before we got married.

She seems to believe that every place we are going, we must take her along. As a matter of fact, it is becoming a habit of my husband to include her in the things we do.

There are very few nights when he and I can be alone together, for even at weekends she comes to our home. I do not want to encourage any jealousy on my part, but I am not altogether happy with the little intimacies they show to each other. Am I worrying too much?

– Anxious Young Wife

Dear Anxious Young Wife,

Worrying is never good, so don’t worry at all. I can understand your concern, for in the circle of marriage there should be no triangles.

It is okay for husbands and wives to have friends, but there must be limits. Intimacies are dangerous at all times, as they can lead to so much more. Your friend seems to see herself as a “privileged person” within your marriage. I also take it that she does not have a partner of her own, and leans on both of you to fill a void in her life.

    If I were in your shoes, I would talk this matter over with my husband – without making any unnecessary fuss.

I believe that your fear of being unreasonable is stopping you from doing anything to stop a situation which is not to the marriage’s best advantage. Why not tell your husband that you are not jealous but because you really love and enjoy being with him, you would like the two of you to do more things together, without a third party?

I’m not saying that you should cut your friend out of your activities altogether, but surely, you both need to spend quality time with each other as a couple.

– CHRISTINE

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