DEAR CHRISTINE: Longing for his affection

Dear Christine,

I AM 18 years of age and I am in love with a guy who is six years older than I am.

We both had a crush on each other from the time I was in primary school, but we were not brave enough to tell each other how we really felt until March. Things changed drastically from then.

We engaged in romantic walks and began hanging out with each other at my house practically every day. I thought it would have led to a relationship since he stated he was happy being with me, but I was in for a big surprise.

We were at my family’s picnic one day when he called me by another girl’s name. This had me quite angry because we were taking a lovely stroll. He told me before I stormed off that the name he had just called me was that of his new girlfriend.

I was heartbroken and was crumbling up inside, but I did let him know that I was hurting. He told my mum in my presence how deeply he cared for me but that he did not want to break my heart since I was a caring and kind-hearted girl. Since then, an incident transpired between us.

 This is six months now that we have not spokento each other and it is tearing me apart. This is the  guy who was like my best friend. I am so confused that I do not know what to do anymore.

He stole my heart from the time we met and since then no one has been able to make me happy like he did.  Should I give up on this fairy tale love or should I still have hope?

– SBA

Dear SBA,

It’s always good to have hope. In fact, hope deferred makes the heart sick. However, in this case, you got your answer straight out of the horse’s mouth – so to speak. As such, I do not think you should keep holding on only to be let down again when he does not show the affection you expect from him.

It was not nice of him to lead you along, making you think you were the one and only person in his life. It’s time to let go. Give him all the space he needs to do what he wants. He may even still be trying to come to terms with his own heart’s desires.

If he returns to you, asks for your forgiveness and you find it in your heart to forgive and move on together, fine.

However, for now, I think you’re a nice young person who should be enjoying life and getting to meet new friends and acquaintances.

Live a little. There is much in life to appreciate, rather than sitting around waiting and hoping for a love which offers no kind of security.

– CHRISTINE