MAVIS BECKLES: Cutting left, right and centre
BOY, EVAHBODY DOING some kinda cutting nowadays.
I tell ya, man: duh cutting left, right and centre. Who ain’t cutting out, cutting in. Who ain’t cutting up, cutting down. Who ain’t cutting cross, cutting loose or cutting way and who ain’t cutting back, cutting off. I tell ya: duh cutting as duh like; evahbody cutting something.
Man, duh doing as duh like ’bout here and a lot o’ people getting way wid it too. All the lot o’ cuts got people holding duh heads and bawling. It got a lot o’ people frighten as France ’cause duh ain’t know who gine get cut loose next.
Look, the lot o’ cutting dat gine on got a good few big-up people uncertain; duh cahn sleep when the night come ’cause duh ain’t know from one day tuh the next if duh gine get cut loose from duh big-up job and, if so, how duh gine function after all the years of being large and in charge.
Dem kinda people so doan know how tuh handle nuh kinda cut, ya know. Duh might bleed tuh death.
Boy look, um ain’t easy. Some people cahn handle the stress dat duh gine through because o’ the lot o’ cuts.
Some o’ dem even tekking it out pon duh families and instead o’ going somewhere quiet like down by the beach where they could hang out and settle duhselves till the brains cool down, duh does go and look fuh a collins and cut up a woman.
Dem is the men who does find it hard tuh leh go. Duh cahn cut loose any kinda ties they may have had wid a woman who decide dat she had enough and want tuh move on wid her life. So, next thing ya know, dem cut off from society because duh end up at Dodds fuh a bundle o’ years.
I tell you: evahbody cutting something. You evah notice how all of a sudden people cahn wait nuh more? You evah notice how people does be cutting in and out o’ the traffic pon the highway? You would be driving gine ’long at a good, 80 or so kilometres, and keeping a safe distance from the other vehicle in front o’ you in case he stop sudden.
All of a sudden another vehicle does come and cut right cross you, just tuh squeeze in tuh the li’l space between you and the vehicle in front o’ you.
Next thing, before you could catch ya’self good, the body does fly from in front o’ you and cut back cross in the other lane and duh does be doing this all the way up the road. The foolish thing ’bout it is dat half the time ya does meet dem either stuck in a long line o’ traffic or at the roundabout, waiting like anybody else.
After this last Budget, a lot o’ people gine have tuh start cutting down some ’ the grass duh got all ’round the place and creating gourmet dishes. Duh gine have tuh cut out some o’ the nice foreign foods dat some o’ dem now get accustom tuh.
Boh, it look tuh me like because Sinckler loss a few pounds and believe he look pretty hot, he like he think dat evahbody else should now eat healthy, as he say. But I doan know if he does go in tuh any supermarket. I cahn remember evah seeing he in nuh supermarket yet, though. But anyway, he like he ain’t know dat eating healthy is expensive.
Talking ’bout this Government though: duh milking we, man! Duh want money and duh mekking we snort wid the taxes and instead o’ doing some research pon some o’ the people like the big-up communities somewhere up there in the north dat didn’t pay a water bill in ovah ten years, dem would send workmen tuh cut off my li’l 60 dollar water bill dat I scrambling tuh pay.
But doan mind, though. A lot o’ people cut up ovah this last Budget but evah dog day does come and the longest day does have a final end. Ya see, we is a resilient people and all we gotta do is keep we heads on and cut off, cut out, cut down and learn tuh cut and contrive. This too shall pass.
• Mavis Beckles was born and raised in The Orleans. She has an opinion on everything.