DEAR CHRISTINE: Want to wait for wedding but tempted by petting
MY BOYFRIEND and I are both Christians from respectful families and we are getting married in December.
I know this sounds like a long way off but it is not that far away.
We love each other very much but have never had sex, as we think this is wrong. I am aware that making such a decision is not always acceptable but it is the way we are and the way it will be.
We have done a lot of heavy petting but I want to remain a virgin until we are married. Again, this may not be as popular a decision as forging ahead but I certainly want to wait.
My fiancé is trying very hard to please me as we both want our marriage to be a success. However, I am a bit worried that we will spoil things if we keep doing the things we do, especially since I do not always find fulfilment when we make love – minus the actual sex.
Do you think it is possible for us to mess up if we continue like this?
Patience is in indeed a virtue and you are wise in making the decision to abstain from intercourse before marriage.
Let me state, however, that the success or failure of your marriage cannot be judged by how frequently your heavy petting achieves success – so to speak.
It also appears to me that you are nibbling at your cake, as you are compromising on your wish to remain a virgin until you are married.
Petting, especially heavy petting, can lead to many things.
If you are troubled by your actions, why not wait in pleasant anticipation for December to come?