DEAR CHRISTINE: Boyfriend no longer wants sex
KEEP UP the good work and may God continue to bless you.
My problem is my boyfriend of close to a year. He is 53 years old but does not appear to be interested in sex. I am 45 years old. In the beginning he would try but I could see he was not fully there. I thought that over time it would get better but it has gotten worse.
In my past relationship I would have sex at least three or four times a week.
Christine, this man has everything going for him. He has a good job, nice home, and dresses nice; however, in the sex department he is down to two or three inches. You know that can be frustrating. I have tried to tell him that he can find other ways to satisfy me, but he would not even entertain me. Right now, we are down to once a month; sometimes not even that.
Christine, would you believe that just last week he asked me to marry him? I just don’t know what to do. At 45 I do not think I should just throw in the towel because of him. Please do not suggest that he sees a doctor. I think I have tried everything. Please tell me what to do.
You do have a problem on your hand. Clearly, you are not prepared to be with this man who has everything you probably desire of a man, but fails to satisfy you sexually. This can lead to lots of frustration, even though, of course, sex is not all there is in a relationship.
It is also clear to me that you have already answered your own question, in that you’ve stated you do not intend to “throw in the towel because of him”. I am not getting the vibe that you love this man enough to live a “sexually deprived” life with him.
If sexual satisfaction is high on your list and he does not fit the bill, forget the financial security the relationship offers and walk away from what could be a life of total frustration and resentment.
Tell him the truth as soon as possible. Let him know you cannot marry him under the current conditions, or you two will have to come up with a plan to satisfy each other.
If he is still not keen on seeking any help or fulfilling your sexual needs, just face the realisation that despite his other pluses, he is not the man for you.