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DEAR CHRISTINE: Tired of his infidelity

Barbados Nation

DEAR CHRISTINE: Tired of his infidelity

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Dear Christine,

GREETINGS in the wonderful name of our Lord!

Christine, I have a problem which I hope you’ll be able to help me with.

I have been living with a man for the past 15 years and he has caused me lots of stress. It has not always been like this. We have had some wonderful times together but during the past seven years, he has caused me lots of shame and heartache.

Even though we are living together, he was unfaithful to me and had a child from another woman. That child is now five years old. Christine, I have stuck with him through thick and thin, even forgiving him when he told me he had another woman pregnant. We have two children of our own.

Christine, I do everything that you can possibly think of for this man, but he does not seem to appreciate all that I do. We have discussed marriage on numerous occasions, but I am still waiting for that to happen.

Right now, I am in two minds – to either leave him and return to my mother’s house, where I know I will be appreciated, or leave him and start out on my own with my two children. I have a fairly decent job. All I would ask of him is that he supports his two children. They are 12 and 15 years old.

I honestly do not believe I should put up with his infidelity any longer. Apart from the woman he has had this child with, I have been told that he is seeing somebody else.

Christine, I am 37 years old and I want better for myself. For 17 long years I have been faithful to this man, never asking for much, yet this is the thanks I get.

With my options, I believe I can start over. Marriage has eluded me for the past 17 years and I want to believe that there is someone out there who would truly love and appreciate me for the kind person I am.

Please pray that I would have the strength to carry on and to make that move. I really wanted to get the situation off my chest and I am grateful for the opportunity to write this letter to you.

– D.D.

Dear D.D.,

I join with you and pray that you will receive the strength to move on. Seventeen years is a long time to be committed to someone who does not value your love, kindness and faithfulness. I think that you should make that move to rebuild your life as soon as possible.

I honestly cannot advise you which is better, returning to your mother’s house or branching out on your own, but I can tell you to weigh the cost of living alone and having to pay rent with that of returning to your mother’s home and possibly sharing the cost of living under her roof. If money becomes a priority, the latter would be the best choice.

I also hope that you would not get involved in another common-law relationship again; not if you are hoping to get married some day.

Many of these relationships can work but, again, many of them fail to launch into the union of marriage. Partners can become “comfortable” in the relationship and do not see the need for a “legal commitment”.

I wish you all nthe best in your endeavours. Knownthat you will garnernthe strength to movebon from here and start a new chapter in your life as you leave the past behind you.