DEAR CHRISTINE: Boyfriend treats me like a maid
I am 24 years old and I am worried about what is happening with my life.
I am in love with a man who is twice my age. I am not worried about the fact that he has at least one child who is older than I am and that he is a divorced man.
We have been together for the past four years and I have known him for about six years. Three years ago he gave me a key to his place and asked me if I would help him to take care of it. It is a fairly big house with quite a lot of rooms.
It started out as taking care of the house, and the next thing I know he was asking me to do his laundry. Now, I feel like his maid. I am not presently employed, but I cook, wash and iron for this man – on top of cleaning.
The only thing I do not do is live in the house – even though I sleep there every now and then, when he allows me to. He gives me money the way someone would give somebody they have employed. He has even told me that anytime I want to stop visiting his home I can do that.
There is also a side of him which I cannot understand. Anytime he sees me talking to any young man he gets furious and threatens to leave me.
What should I do? I love this man, but I think he is taking advantage of me.
I think you’re right. He is taking advantage of you. You have become his maid – not even a live-in maid, since you can only visit when he allows you to. You have the key to the house and that’s all. You are yet to possess the key to his heart.
You can wash, cook, iron, clean and probably pleasure him when he’s in the mood. That’s it. This man is selfishly using you and has you in bondage. Break free! Give him back the key to his house and stop carrying out those domestic duties.
Find yourself a job, learn to support yourself and find some new friends around your age. Don’t you think that you deserve better? I do.