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DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t shake feelings for guy I met overseas


Barbados Nation

DEAR CHRISTINE: Can’t shake feelings for guy I met overseas

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Dear Christine:

I AM 40 years of age with two children and a good husband.

Like many other couples, we have our differences, but nothing ever serious. After staying at home when the children were small, I later went to work.

Both my husband and I worked very hard to get what we have. Now that things should be running smoothly I fear there are likely to be problems.

I was having a bad spell of depression as I tend to worry a lot and my doctor said I should get away for a holiday.

This was quite easy to arrange as my husband comes from abroad and we’ve always kept in touch with his family. Off I went on what turned out to be a most enjoyable holiday. I did things I had not done for years like going to dances and to the cinema.

During the short period there were two weddings and a birthday party, and on those occasions there was a man who I became friendly with.

From the time I met him I found him attractive and interesting. He is also a very good dancer. Soon I found myself hardly able to wait until I could see him again.

Of course, we never gave anyone cause to suspect what was happening. He is most discreet. For a little while we never even admitted it to ourselves until two days before I returned home.

he made an attempt to kiss me in a way that was more telling than the friendly peck on the cheek or brotherly kiss. Instinctively I said “no”.

Now I am back home this man is constantly on my mind and I am not yearning for my husband as I used to. I’ve told myself I am too much of an adult to take on something like this, but talking to myself is not helping.

I know I have not done anything wrong but I know it would hurt my husband if I did. I would love to get rid of these feelings for this man.

Help me.

– X

Dear X:

Are you planning to do “something wrong”?

I am sure not, so stop beating up yourself.

It is not always possible to stop thoughts from coming into our heads butwhat we do with those thoughts makes the difference.

Up to this point you have kept your head on and have not allowed this temptation to overcome you. Give yourself a pat on the back.

I simply think the attention this man showed you made it very easy for you to feel connected to him.

However, when you really consider your children and “good husband” you’ll realise that your heart is still very much at home with your family, even if your thoughts may stray.

Your conscience and good judgement have brought you safely so far. You must now try to renew your interestin your husband.

Don’t take it on like another chore. Do some fun things together, like going on a local weekend getaway to a hotel or planning a trip somewhere.

You can also bring romance back into your marriage by going on a surprise dinner date or enjoying a movie at the cinema.

Thoughts will come and eventually they will leave you, but in the meantime try not to worry too much.

Who knows? This man has probably forgotten your “brief encounter” and has moved on without a thought of you.

– CHRISTINE

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