DEAR CHRISTINE: Thinking about living a single life
Please reply as soon as possible to my letter as I am only a visitor to your island. True, I can read the NATION online, but I might just miss it if you reply.
I have been divorced for six years after 20 years of marriage. Soon after, I had two relationships and they left me in a state. At one time, I thought I would go crazy.
As a matter of fact, the break-up with the last one is why I am here. I found it very difficult to concentrate on my job, and my understanding boss, who is an old friend and who I share my troubles with, suggested this break.
I am still sad but feel a lot better. However, I am wondering whether I should try to suppress all romantic feelings and live a solitary life. I know this won’t be much fun, as I am a person who likes company.
Few people ever settle for a solitary existence. While some people may choose to live alone or choose to remain unattached, there is still that craving at some point in time for friendship and love. Don’t try to become who you are not.
Perhaps following your new-found freedom you rushed ahead thinking it would be fun to meet new loves without taking time to properly assess these individuals.
One thing you must ask yourself is whether you were really in love with them or if you were expecting them to fill the voids left from your divorce.
You see, in your marriage you might have had emotional and other support, which these “relationships” could not offer. Perhaps they were more of a physical and sexual nature. On the other hand, the fault could have been with the type of persons you met.
In any case, that’s all behind you now. Look to the future with some measure of hope and be more careful in the future when choosing partners.
Meanwhile, enjoy your stay on our island. There’s plenty to do, see and experience, as well as lots of opportunities for relaxation.