DEAR CHRISTINE: Still in love with my cheating ex
I WAS hopelessly in love with a man for five years, but because he kept running around with other women, I finally broke off the relationship.
Soon after, I met a good gentleman who said right off he did not want us to live together and he was interested in getting married. That was three years ago.
Truth be told Christine, I have a serious problem. I am still very much in love with my old boyfriend and I am quite happy to see him occasionally as he continues to see several other women.
This whole scenario is getting me depressed and I need some help. What advice can you offer me at this stage?
I’m tempted to just say “another one bites the dust”. That is, another marriage.
Your letter reminded me of Lot’s wife (in the Bible) who had the chance to escape from being consumed because of the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, but who looked back and was “turned into a pillar of salt”. Why are you looking back at a man who has several women, as you have admitted?
It is said that a guilty conscience is a most uncomfortable thing to live with. It would appear that you rushed into marriage to get over the old affair and so far you’re not healed from the first relationship. Truly, I am sorry your marriage is not working out. Still, I am hoping that when you come to your senses you’ll realise that your old boyfriend really does not love you. On the other hand, your husband does.
So, please tell me why you are so eager to throw away your love on a man who will only use you and who really doesn’t need your love anyway?
Whatever obsession you have with your old boyfriend, try hard to get over it. You are not being fair to your husband or yourself. You have the real deal; stop being tempted by the reflection in the water.
If you really love yourself, stop seeing your old boyfriend (who has multiple relationships going on) before you take home a sexually transmitted disease to your husband.