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DEAR CHRISTINE: Torn between fiancé, married man

Barbados Nation

DEAR CHRISTINE: Torn between fiancé, married man

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Dear Christine,

I AM 20 years old and I am engaged to a young man whom my relatives think I should marry. I can honestly say from my heart that I care deeply for him but I don’t think it is love.

We have been engaged for six months and made the decision to get married next September. I would have been quite willing to wait until next year and be engaged and marry within six months.

Recently, however, I met a man from one of the islands who is about to get a divorce from his wife. He has no children and is only six years older than I am. He has asked me leave Barbados and to go with him to his country, until such time that he is free to marry me.

I have been giving this a lot of thought and even spoke to my mother about this. However, she is furious and promised to withhold monies I will receive when I reach the age of 21, if I should follow this man to his country.

Do you think I should follow my heart or do as my mother says? I am torn on the inside.

– B.N.


Dear B.N.,

In this case, I think mother knows best, despite her threat to withhold funds.

However, while I agree with her that you should not follow this man to his country (you probably know very little about him in any case), I also am of the opinion that you should hold off from getting married as well.

It is obvious that the young man you’re engaged to no longer appeals to you.

Either end the engagement or wait until you’re absolutely settled in your mind that you actually want to spend the rest of your life with him. As for the married man, bid him farewell.