DEAR CHRISTINE: She’s too close for my comfort
MAY GOD bless you for the good work you are doing.
I have a problem and you are the only person I trust to help guide me since I do not want to confide in any family or friends who may only laugh and make sport at me behind my back, especially the females.
It is about my boyfriend, although I don’t know if I should really call him my boyfriend. We have been seeing each other for the past five years and have become rather close and intimate.
This man is more than four but less than ten years younger than I am but has a lot of mature friends.
There is this woman who is older than I am who has been his friend even before we met.
She is always asking him over to do this or that at her house, something that I hate. Afterwards, he would tell me that she gave him some food and a few drinks and he dropped off to sleep.
He claims nothing goes on between them, but I do not trust her. She likes to wear a lot of short dresses and real tight clothing and when she is dancing, she’s always wining back.
Three weeks ago one of her friends had a birthday party and my boyfriend went because he has known the fellow for a long time. I was going but felt very sick that Friday night and decided to stay at home. I told him it was okay to go, but that he should keep out of trouble.
Well, I called him at 11 o’clock and he spoke to me for about five minutes. I calledmhim again at midnight and he spoke to me for about 15 minutes. I called him at 1 p.m. and got no answer.
I called my cousin who went to the party and she said he was there dancing up and drinking a lot of beers. She checked him and his phone was dead. I did not see him until around midday on Saturday as he did not go home.
My mother doesn’t like him coming at her at those times.
He told me he was knocked out cold and spent the morning at this woman sleeping in the spare bedroom.
I feel real hurt and don’t know if I can believe him. He says he would do a lie detector test if possible to show he isn’t cheating or telling lies.
He wants us to get married next year June, but I don’t know what to do. I am confused.
– Bajan Beau
Dear Bajan Beau,
After five years in a relationship you should by now know your partner. It was wrong for your boyfriend to spend the morning at this woman knowing your feelings about her.
While he may very well be honest and sincere, he must consider your feelings. If you are going to accept his offer of marriage, then you must be trusting.
You also speak of keeping people out of your business, yet you have your cousin tracking down this young man to see where he is and what he is doing in the middle of the night. This will not help either.
Outline your likes and dislikes and let your boyfriend know exactly what you expect of him. He also needs to understand you.