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DEAR CHRISTINE: Don’t want to lose my married man

Barbados Nation

DEAR CHRISTINE: Don’t want to lose my married man

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Dear Christine,

WHAT MUST I DO? This is the question I raise to you as I am in a corner and must make a decision.

My boyfriend is going overseas for a three-year work assignment. I am fearful that this will be the end of our relationship. I don’t want to lose him.

My boyfriend is a married man with whom I have had a very close relationship going 12 years. He is adorable, loving and considerate.

I have no children of my own and I think this has helped my relationship with this very sweet man. We tend to spend a lot of time together and we get to do things together. I am not dependent on him as I have a well-paying job which he was instrumental in helping me to get. I have my own house which he helped me choose and retrofit.

What I love about this man is the conversation he can carry on, the guidance he gives and how passionate we are together on those special moments at least twice a week.

I do not want any children and as I approach my mid-40s really am not interested.

This man has been offered a promotion which will take him outside of Barbados and even though he has suggested that I visit him once a month and as he has to come here on business monthly, it means we will have each other’s company at least twice a month. It is a big shift from the visits, which can be as many as five times a week.

Loneliness can cause a drift and separation can make it even greater. This I fear.

– Jay Low

Dear Jay Low,

You are very bold. You are brash and clearly don’t care what others may say. Have you ever stopped to consider what you are doing is wrong? Do you realise that you can shatter this man’s marriage? Do you realise that you are only a second fiddle?

Is this what you want and does it bring any sense of fulfilment? You are clearly determined that you want to continue with this relationship regardless of right or wrong?

The overseas position for this man may turn out to be the perfect opportunity for the two of you to go your separate ways; he to his wife, you to find that special partner of yours. You need to look yourself in the mirror to see how wrong you are and that dangerous path you have been walking.

– Christine