DEAR CHRISTINE: Friend’s home in a terrible state
I HAVE a very good friend, who in my view has a serious problem, but I don’t know how to approach her on the matter, as she can be hot tempered and always feels that whatever she does is right. We developed our friendship while working together and became such good friends that we are godmothers to each other’s children.
We have travelled together and we even went on a cruise with some other female friends . I would say that she is a dear friend and I would like it to continue this way. But, she has a few habits which annoy me and I feel that can be an embarrassment to her. She has become very untidy and she can get very upset when you find fault with her.
Recently, I have noticed that she does not like to keep her house tidy and is often making all kinds of excuses for the clothing left on the floor, the drinking glasses and plates on the floor besides the chairs. Unfortunately, the house has developed an unpleasant smell given the state of untidiness. Two of us were in the habit of going over and spending some time by her on Saturday evenings, but now there is always an excuse or an invitation for her to visit.
The situation is made all the worse because my friend has teenage daughters who are active and like having their friends over. Their friends are not going to like what they see.
What should I do?
It must have taken some heart to write this letter outlining your concern and also indicates that you do treasure the friendship. You should invite your friend over and constantly remark about why you keep your house tidy.
You should also speak to the importance of cleanliness and why it matters. I also believe that you and indeed the other friend who frequents the lady’s house should gently let her know of her shortcomings and the possible impact not only on her but certainly her children.
How you tell her and not necessarily what you tell her can be the important thing. Friends are for both good and bad times, and you should always seek to tell those close to you the truth.