DEAR CHRISTINE: Dance partner has me confused
I HAVE BEEN seeing a man for a little over a month. Initially it started as me becoming his ballroom dance partner. While I am still his dance partner, we have become interested in becoming sexually involved. Two issues. Upon my asking, he admitted to being married, living in same house, but not in a sexual relationship with his wife.
They have separate bedrooms. Some of our friends in the dance group have been to his house and what he said seems to be the case.
Next issue, he is retired and has been a dance host on cruise lines for the past year. About six months ago he told me he slept with two female passengers. That is not allowed on ships.
He claims he realises that was a mistake and after the next cruise he will not take another long cruise. He is going on a two-month cruise and I believe we should keep sex out of our relationship until he returns and then evaluate the situation between us. If I have sex with him, I would use a condom and I believe both of us should be checked for HIV.
– DANCE LOVER
Dear Dance Lover,
First off, there are lots of sexually transmitted diseases, so if you two did get sexually involved you, and more so he, should be checked for every one, not just HIV. But why would you want to get involved with him?
He’s married, and doesn’t seem to give any indication that he’s going to leave his wife. Instead he goes off on long cruises. And when he’s away, he’s not there for you or her. I think you’d be better remaining friends or dance partners but not anything more.