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GAL FRIDAY: Porn names and prisoners


Veoma Ali

GAL FRIDAY: Porn names and prisoners

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HAL LINTON’S porn name is Bobby Saint. In case you think I’m being too forward or making this up, check the Easy Magazine about two weeks ago.

They say you come up with a porn name by taking the name of your first pet; and the first part of the place you grew up. Mine would be Doggie Chase. Kinda fun game to play, isn’t it?

I wonder what’s yours? And in doing research for this article (yes, I actually do research; not like Tennyson Joseph and Peter Wickham’s sophisticated type, but research nonetheless) I discovered a new word: pornocracy. Pornocracy is defined as a government dominated by prostitutes. Interesting word!

But this is not Linguistics 101. So, on to a quick question. Why is it that some stores can’t give you the price of products on the phone? I needed to know the price of a fan. You know how hot it is these days. While fanning myself, I phoned up to ask the price of a fan. I began fantasising about the coolness of my room with my new fan.

Dry response

The advertisement on the phone, created with lots of fanfare as I waited for an actual human being to answer, was repeated approximately ten times. (30-second jingle, multiplied by 10 times. See how long I waited?)

And then the dry response, “We doh give out prices. You gotta come hey.” Not only did I not go there, but I decided to call another store. Price was given, purchase was made. I know we all have a right to “store policy” but what is the “bright” behind that particular “right”?

Now, let’s talk about cellphones in schools. One would wonder how we used to survive when we were at school when the only cells we studied were the ones in biology. But now, some of our children feel “disadvantaged” if they don’t have the latest cell phone . . . and at school, to boot.

We already have the tablets, desktops and laptops in schools; so, why the seemingly desperate need for cells? Our children are bombarded and sometimes addicted to technology and social media. Why not provide some respite in the classroom, at least?

Moving on to another type of cell . . . Can we somehow get the cell occupants at Dodds to help with the bush all around us? I am sure you see these things on a daily basis – signs being blocked by bush; bush in the road, making it almost impassable, impossibly tall bush along our highways – don’t you?

Anyone out there with the power to make the call?

Get the prisoners to help. If we can’t afford to pay workers for the cleaning and clearing of our roads, why not seek assistance from that source? It’s not a new concept; remember Chain Gang by Sam Cooke?

Veoma Ali is an author, broadcaster, advertising exec and, most important, a karaoke lover.

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