DEAR CHRISTINE, I AM convinced that people’s addiction to cellphones must be ruining their relations with family members and spouses. I am one of those victims.
Firstly, my 13-year-old daughter hardly communicates with us in the house anymore. She spends her time on WhatsApp, Facebook and receiving the most recent news and gossip, which is usually nothing positive. Homework has become something which goes on the back burner. I have tried to talk to my daughter but to no avail.
My other concern is my wife. She is also addicted to the cellphone like an individual is to drugs or alcohol. She takes it to church with her, constantly plays games with her friends, sends texts like they are life-saving tips, and talks on her cell as though she is a receptionist who must answer every call.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a good wife and we have been married for 15 years. However, the cellphone use has become a real problem, even to the point of interrupting our sex life. Would you believe that sometimes in the middle of having sex, she’ll answer the phone if it rings, or stop to send a text to a friend? Christine, how bad can it get? I have frequently asked her if she cannot at least turn off the cellphone during our times of intimacy but she told me quite blankly, she hates to miss her calls.
There were times when we used to sit together and have really great conversations about life in general, our lives together and our future plans for our two children. Now these times are interrupted with “beeps” and sounds of all sorts, depending on what type of music she chooses as her ring tone.
I am not sure if other men, or women for that matter, are experiencing what I am going through, but it is annoying. I am trying to keep the peace, after being so nice about the situation, but I am now like a bomb ready to explode. Any suggestions?
– WAITING TO EXPLODE
Dear Waiting To Explode,
Are you the king of your castle or not? Why are you finding it so hard to lay down the rules in your home?
While your letter seems amusing and I do understand the seriousness of your situation, I cannot simply advise you to hide the cellphone before those moments of intimacy. As a matter of fact, there probably would be no intimacy at all if the cellphone is not nearby. In other words, your wife may hold back.
See if you can reach some kind of agreement with her to at least put the cellphone on silence during times of intimacy – sexual or otherwise. That way she will not miss any important texts or messages and can always return them later.
As for your daughter, who gave her a smartphone in the first place? I guess it’s either you or your wife. While there is nothing wrong with that, given the attraction of today’s youth to hi-tech and social media, rise up as the man of the home and take that cellphone from her until her house chores and homework are completed. It should be as easy as that.
– CHRISTINE
