DEAR CHRISTINE, I AM 15 YEARS OLD and will be 16 years in four months. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years and he is the only person I have ever loved.
We have never had sex because my parents have spoken to me about the need to concentrate on my education and keep my virginity until I am married. I know it sounds old-fashioned to some people but I value their advice.
However, “Chris”, as I will call him, has never really hit me, but we quarrel a lot and he has held me twice and shook me.
I wonder if he would ever hit me. I love him but I don’t know if I should continue to see him. I am thinking there is an explosive side to him that I am yet to see, but should I wait around to see if this happens?
Please give me some guidance. “Chris” is 18 years old.
– J.D.
Dear J.D., Let me be frank with you. Leave him like yesterday. Don’t hang around waiting for him to explode. Think of him as a grenade that has been set to detonate. Would you want to wait around for the impact?
If he thinks that you have accepted his behaviour, he will continue along that road.
Teen years are meant to be a time of fun, learning and growth – both at a social and intellectual level. It is also a time to pay serious attention to your education and career path. It is not a time for you to limit yourself to one person for too long, especially in a relationship that shows signs of physical or verbal abuse.
Tell “Chris” you no longer want an exclusive relationship and you’d like to spend more time on your studies. If he does not accept this, talk to your parents about the situation. In fact, you should have spoken to them the first time he shook you.
By the way, like your parents, more parents need to talk to their children about moral values and abstaining from casual sex. I also admire you for taking their advice to heart.
– CHRISTINE
