Wednesday, April 24, 2024

FLYING FISH & COU COU: Headcount a hard one

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THERE HAS NOT been such great interest in a headcount anywhere in Barbados until this week. It was more than of passing interest to see how many people were trying to count fewer than two dozen people and to get it right.

You should see them, some with paper and pen, others with tablets; there were those with calculators and even others still with laptops. There were those who considered themselves brilliant with numbers and those who have consistently claimed that numeracy is their weak area. But regardless, it was very interesting listening to some with their computations. The number was not 50-plus, as some may think, but little more than a dozen. The first challenge in this equation was that you have to subtract two, then divide by two to get your result.

But it is not a simple solution, as some got seven for their answer, others got five, some got an equal six, while some were unwilling to give their answer to the problem until after Christmas. Others are even saying they would prefer to wait until April since this must not be seen as an All Fool’s Day exercise. The situation is made a little more complex as a few are waiting until next October.

What is interesting is that people who were counting have been using the same methodology in Welchman Hall, Lower Carlton, Lower Burney, Bush Hall Yard Gap, Belle Gully and New Orleans while there are others using a different system in Belleplaine, Horse Hill, Cave Hill, Mount Hill, Holders Hill and Newbury.

With no solution to this major mathematical equation in sight, some people are already looking to see how the moon and the earth will be lining up next year to determine how it will affect human behaviour and the numbers.

Money has no accent

PEOPLE IN COUNTRY ROAD are perplexed. They say Barbados is really changing. A woman was given marching orders after she allowed debt for her high-rise vantage point to mount up. No problem with that. But lo and behold, as soon as this woman left without even looking back, heart-broken and with tears in her eyes, a most unusual development took place.

A man, looking like if he could be mistaken for being a member of the Taliban or a former member of the Lahore Strikers, a rising cricket team overseas, turned up at another tower near Roebuck Street, and in distinctive English announced: “I want place. I pay good.” 

Well, there was a lot of laughter, but quick so there was acceptance of one year’s cover. Astonishing! That’s all some people near the Garden Land could say on hearing about these developments.

One moutta man asked how long the brother from the East had his name on the waiting list and how come things get approved so fast. The big joke, however, is that the man is only visiting the place on evenings, since a Latino damsel  has taken up occupancy. Neighbours now are in the dark at nights bewildered by what they’re hearing, whether paklist or palenquero.

Special shade of blue

ARE THERE TOO MANY men in blue? And do some have little or nothing to do? Or do they have too many vehicles at their disposal?

These are the questions scores of people are asking repeatedly on weekday evenings while liming just past that very popular supermarket heading towards Codrington Hill. Without fail, a lowly-ranked man in the blue group turns up at the old Dr Clarke’s residence near Long Gap for a little one.

The gate controller, stern-faced with those who are lowly placed, keeps all these folks at bay who like to peep inside the manor of the attractive bald-headed mistress of the manor. But, with official vehicle, this man in blue is ushered in to collect the privileged junior. The others, there for the sun or the rain, have been asking aloud what kind of duties this man in blue must attend to that every day he can have a vehicle and exactly at 1500 hours can respond to these personal obligations.

While that is a mystery for the fellow from far north to resolve, the restless majority at the gates are saying that there must be one rule to observe, especially when you wear blue.

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