TODAY IS A GREAT DAY. It feels good to know that there are still many people who support and practise sexual purity.
I saw a flyer on Ammar Empowerment’s Facebook page promoting a “March For Purity” event this Saturday in Heroes Square and was moved to write this article.
In a few weeks, millions of people will make New Year resolutions and the majority will have one resolution at the top of their list: to lose weight or start exercising. Interestingly, the majority won’t make it past January primarily because they have the wrong motivation or their motivation is guided by some type of fear.
I have found that those persons who maintain a consistent training regime or nutrition plan aren’t motivated by fear but more so, a desire to honour their body by keep it healthy. It makes them feel and look good, it’s the right thing to do or they want to be an example for others. The right motivation will determine how successful one would be in fulfilling resolutions because fear always wears off.
Let’s take this approach into our sexual lives.
Let me start by saying that sex and sexuality is also a component of a healthy lifestyle and since we don’t generally teach that or see it that way, many of us abuse this component of our being. We define poor nutrition choices and practices and a lack of exercise and rest as an abuse of the body. I believe that poor or unwise sexual choices and practices are also an abuse of the body.
Last year I sat at a retreat and listened to the teachings of Ambrose and Maria Carter of the Pure Sex Centre and they said something that I found profound. I’ll try my best to repeat it.
They said sex was created by God, it was good and they encouraged everyone to have sex. Ambrose went on to say that sex (casual term) is defined by the dictionary as vaginal sexual intercourse between a married man and a woman (which supports the biblical definition). He said every sexual act outside of sexual intercourse had its own distinct name and definition and as a result wasn’t sex. For example, adultery, bestiality, anal sex, cunnilingus, anulingus, oral sex, paedophillia, foreplay, masturbation, homosexuality, bisexuality, orgies and fornication. Even the dictionary supports that the boundary of marriage between a man and woman is reserved for sex.
The promotion of sexual purity at the national and international level is almost non-existent and quickly disappearing. To many people, abstinence and being faithful isn’t seen as relevant, achievable or sustainable. Many tend to lean towards sexual purity and a change in their promiscuous behaviour as a result of fears or consequences. Sadly, fears wear off and consequences don’t affect everyone and as a result, most people return to their previous licentious behaviour.
If a wife committed adultery but didn’t contract an STI or HIV/AIDS, or got pregnant or was caught, which are all consequences and fears, does it mean her husband should be okay with it? Would you be ok with it? I highly doubt!
The husband would be deeply hurt and so would you, primarily because a covenant was broken. This broken covenant births distrust, dishonour, selfishness, shame, betrayal, embarrassment, brokenness, fear, anger and disgust which can lead to separation, divorce, depression and even suicide.
Consequences don’t affect everyone and fear wears off. As a result they should not be taught as the motivating factors or the foundational reasons why we should pursue or practise sexual purity. If this is done, then sexual purity becomes unrealistic, unachievable and unsustainable.
Love, respect, commitment and honour for self, others and God should be the main foundational reasons why one should practise sexual purity. Other reasons should include the desire to present to your future spouse a pure body and also setting a good example for your children, your peers and others. The right motivation will determine how successful we are in adopting and practising a lifestyle of sexual purity.
There is nothing to lose and all to gain from the practice of sexual purity. I encourage all to have sex. Promiscuity and a lack of commitment only do harm and cause great emotional, psychological, spiritual and financial pain.
Abstinence and being faithful also teach discipline through delayed self-gratification, which are qualities or characteristics we all need to progress and succeed in this developing and instant world.
• Corey Worrell, a former Commonwealth youth ambassador, is director of C2J Foundation Inc., a project-based NGO focusing on social development. Email coreyworrell@gmail.com
