DEAR CHRISTINE: He made a pass at my niece
GIVE ME some advice quickly. My boyfriend and I have been living together for the past four years and we have a one-year-old daughter.
We’ve always been very close and I know he loves his child a great deal. She is what you can call the “apple of his eye”.
About three weeks ago, my 18-year-old niece asked him if she could borrow some money from him until she got paid. She needed it to purchase something which she wanted badly and could not use her ATM card where she was shopping. She asked him because he worked nearby and she felt it was convenient to do so.
Apparently, he seized the opportunity to tell her they could “work something out” and she would not have to repay him the money. She realised he was asking her to have sex with him and told him I was her aunt and she could never do something of the sort to me. The proposition sounded like a business deal of the “I sell my body to you” sort. He also told her I do not have to know.
I decided to question him in my niece’s presence. He simply laughed and walked away.
I am now left to wonder if he has been cheating on me, if he ever cheated on me before and if he goes around demanding sexual favours in exchange for money. He runs his own business and also has a weekend job elsewhere.
Since this incident, things have not been the same between us. My niece is sorry that she spoke with me, but I have tried to convince her that she was not to blame.
She still thinks he is a good guy and perhaps he was testing her, or simply made a mistake. She said I should stick with him for the child’s sake. I beg to differ.
No matter what he says to me, I am finding it hard to believe or trust him. Why would he hit on my 18-year-old niece? He’s 34 and I am 27.
Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
I don’t think you are. You’ve got it all right and I cannot blame you for not trusting your boyfriend. You cannot live comfortably or happy within a relationship filled with distrust and tension.
If you have forgiven him and you are still unhappy, perhaps it is time to bid him farewell. Just be sure you put legal matters in place to make certain he looks after your daughter who is the “apple of his eye”.
Your niece did the right thing. Who knows? She could have saved you from further stress and heartbreak down the road.