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DEAR CHRISTINE: Sis refuses to invite wife to her wedding


DEAR CHRISTINE: Sis refuses to invite wife to her wedding

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Dear Christine,

PLEASE CORRECT me if I am wrong because everyone thinks I am taking the situation which I am about to share too seriously.

My family never really loved the woman whom I married. By family, I am referring to my parents and two of three siblings.

They felt she was from a “lower class” and I was marrying “beneath”, as I’ve heard stated. My wife has a beautiful spirit, heart and countenance. She looks after the home, our young son, is faithful to me and works to help support herself, even though I have accumulated wealth over the years.

In fact, after our son’s birth, I told her she could sit it out at home for at least five years – if she so desired; but she said she grew up being independent and wanted to contribute to the household.

Here’s my beef. My sister is getting married in May and has sent me a wedding invitation, addressed to me only – not to me and my wife. The inside envelope also included just my name.

Some friends say this was probably an oversight and have told me to add my wife’s name on the return card. I do not believe this is the proper thing to do. Others believe I should turn down the invitation and just send my sister a gift.

Needless to say, my wife has already informed me that even if the change is made, she “will not be attending the wedding”.

Should I confront my sister and ask her why my wife’s name was omitted, or simply turn down the invitation?

– B.B.

Dear B.B.,

Turn it down.

However, if you confront your sister or turn down the invitation at this time, both these actions could result in further tension and “fallout” within the “family”.

Of course, what your sister has done is rude and out of place. It sent a message that only you were invited to the wedding. It was also deliberate and I’m sure she is waiting to see what your next move will be. Timing is key.

Do not go the route of including your wife’s name on the wedding invitation. When it comes closer to the RSVP (deadline), simply pencil in that you will NOT be in attendance. If the question arises as to why you will not be doing so, remind your sister that you are married, the invitation was not extended in any case, you would be uncomfortable attending without your family – son included.

To say the least, the invitation should have been addressed to you and family.