DID YOU SLEEP well last night? I’m guessing that if you didn’t, other than the snoring sleepy-head beside you, there were probably bikes involved. Am I right? You see, I was feeling like a ripe banana, up until about two o’clock this morning.
I was dreaming in colour: Hoadie, Ian Estwick and me. We three were rubbing Ishaka’s belly with oil, with Ian singing: “Press d navel, Mabel!” We were frolicking in a duck pond, near Cherry Tree Hill. But I was rudely awakened from this profound slumber by some bike riders, apparently with something to prove.
And if that weren’t enough, my great aunt, who’s currently under my care, suddenly wakes up shouting, “Answer d pucking pone!” (She can’t pronounce the phonetic “f” sound without her dentures) The dogs then start barking – one in particular, howling to high heaven – while my great aunt is still caught up in her somnolent stuporific frenzy.
Then the phone actually begins to ring, causing her to bawl out the same vulgar command. It was a concerned neighbour, wanting to know if all was okay. All of this drama because of the bike riders who apparently don’t sleep or don’t care about those who do sleep and who have to work in the morning.
But I don’t want to spend all my time on the bikers.
I have to tell you about the parliamentary fights I viewed on YouTube recently. A reader sent me a link via Twitter to ask me what I thought about these horrible fights amongst ministers in Ukraine, Japan and many other countries. Truth is, I thought that the tough, terse comments across the floors of the Caribbean’s parliaments were bad. But you would not believe these fights, reader! Chairs being pelted, microphones used to burst heads, beatings and even biting . . . in parliament! Honestly, our members of parliament can be considered docile when compared with others around the globe.
Could you even fathom it, though? Who would make the first move? I mean, if we really consider it, we do have some robust men and some fit women. But I sincerely couldn’t imagine someone like Santia Bradshaw picking up a chair and flinging it across the floor. To tell you the truth, I couldn’t even imagine her raising her voice! Or even Minister Estwick. He is awesomely animated at times, but I could never picture him pulling out a piece of parliamentary ply from its place and lashing out . . . no matter how vex he is.
I tell you, we have a dignified set of political representatives. If you don’t believe me, log on to YouTube and check out “parliamentary fights” and you will see what I mean. A wise man once said, “It is better to flatter than to fight.” Mark Griffith, I hope you take those words into consideration, hear? Mark gave an airline ticketing agent a few of his choicest words; except . . . they weren’t too flattering at all. Ask Mark how long it took him to get back home to Barbados!?!
Veoma Ali is an author, broadcaster, advertising exec and, most important, a karaoke lover.
