Dear Christine,
I AM 30 years old and recently purchased my own house. Prior to this, I lived with my mum and dad in our large family home. My siblings have already moved out, married and bought their own homes.
Acquiring my “nest” has given me the freedom and independence which I sought. However, my parents (both in their early 60s and not yet retired) appear to want to clip my wings. I have only lived on my own for the past months and already they are talking about selling the family (four-bedroom, two-bathroom) home and moving in with me.
The thing is, my dad is not well – he’s not sick unto death either – but mum prefers to have him in my bungalow, rather than the two-storey house which is their home.
They are my parents and I am their last child. I love them with all my heart but, Christine, I want my own space and have started to enjoy my level of freedom.
What do I do in a case like this? The guilt is already settling in and I am not taking this suggestion too well.
– ANN
Dear ANN,
I am sure you left your nest for freedom, adventure and fun. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. There’s also no reason to feel guilty if you have to dismiss your parents’ suggestion.
You can perhaps suggest that they sell the family home and buy a more manageable, smaller property (with no split level – thus no stairs to climb as they advance in age). It is hard for some parents to let go of their children, and they will find all kinds of reasons why the children should not leave them alone.
I’m sure if your parents sold the family home, there’ll be enough money for them to hire a part-time helper, if need be.
“Counter suggest” and see where it leads from there.
– CHRISTINE
