DEAR CHRISTINE: Hubby too friendly with co-workers
I AM well aware that sexual harassment comes in all forms, shapes and sizes and is the result of many different causes.
Being cognisant of these truths have made me more cautious of how easily a woman can cry sexual harassment and get the whole world to agree with her – even if she is crying foul.
Here is the reason for my personal concern. My husband is the top boss at his company. As chief executive officer, he mixes and mingles with people from various backgrounds, companies and has to travel quite frequently – within the region and beyond.
I would describe my husband as handsome, a nice dresser and friendly – maybe a bit too friendly. We are both 45 years old and I also work in the corporate field.
When I say that my husband is friendly, I mean he sees nothing wrong with meeting some woman for the first time and throwing his hands around her. He also hugs and kisses many of the female high ranking officers with whom he does business. Isn’t this unprofessional in the least?
His actions make me feel very uncomfortable – not insecure. I guess it is because he has had three affairs that I’ve been made aware of, since our marriage 16 years ago.
To add a little fire to the flame, he calls some of these women “darling”, “honey” “sweetheart” and so on.
It is my sincere wish that he will stop this form of open flirting, especially when I am in the same room or nearby to hear.
What do you think?
I do understand your concern, especially since your husband has had affairs during the course of your marriage. Not every woman will wait for a man to “run his course’ after her. Quite a number of women are bold enough to state and take exactly what they want – whether the man is married or unmarried.
I say all this to tell you that as long as your husband maintains this over-friendly streak, he is a prime candidate for vulnerable and bold women who do not mind having a fling.
If you have not yet done so, you need to speak to your husband about his unprofessional manner when it comes to dealing with female business partners, etc. If he gets on the defence, simply ask him how would he feel if you were to treat male counterparts the way he does his female business partners by calling them “honey” “sweetheart” etc and playing “touchy, touchy” with their hands and backs, whether it’s at a business meeting or social event?
Your husband must also consider that not every woman likes to be touched and addressed by informal names, when it comes to business. What I am saying is, I agree with you that he needs to be more professional – always fair, always friendly but never too familiar.
Share your thoughts and look out for the results. I’m sure he can tone down if he really wants to.