Wednesday, April 24, 2024

PUDDING & SOUSE: At home in the slums

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A POLITICO who sees himself as a general has gone downhill almost in the heart of the country. But those who know of his folly say that he is generally lazy and indifferent.

His wife has left him and for good reason, and most Barbadians, if not all, know this. He is generally wuffless and uncaring, and most Barbadians, if not all, know this.

But, what they do not know is that he is now courting a woman who is living like a squatter.

From his lofty chambers he always knows how things ought to be done and by whom. But when he backs his jacket and loosens his tie to relax he can be found in a neighbourhood situated in the heart of poverty, feet dangling on the patio and being saluted by police officers as they pass by.

The small, wooden house, some say, may even have its bathroom facilities in the yard. But that is his new home.

Neighbours are heaping scorn on him and believe he should only be treated with disrespect since he can do much more for this poor woman and her child and arrange for her to be given a housing unit. Others say that he is behaving true to form for he is just a user.

Mum, daughter brawl

IT WAS CAT . . . and pepper at a secondary school as a schoolgirl and her mother fought like dogs in the presence of a packed school.

The girl, who took to school her cellphone without the knowledge of her mother, had a rude awakening when mum turned up at the school and demanded the phone from her at the school gate.

Well, who tell she to do that? After threatening to end her mother’s life, the 14-year-old then bounded on her and fists started flying. Blows were intense and the language was unbelievable as the two hurled expletives at each other.

It took a lot of doing and the summoning of law enforcement to bring the brawl to an end.

Teachers say it is not the first time that the two fought on the premises. At the age of 11, the girl threw two kicks in her mother’s stomach in the headmaster’s office.

Teachers say it’s becoming more like a war zone at the school and they fear that security needs to be stepped up. No longer can one guard do the job.

Taste of own medicine

HE’S BIG AND STRONG and lifts many skirts. But there is one that he just can’t get lifted, and that is his wife’s.

He likes to plan his business while at work in the town and in the country. But his business at home remains in limbo and his final escape with a skirt was a most embarrassing one.

This muscleman has put a parro lookalike in a house and is paying her rent, so he thought that he was in full control.

However, on leaving work and heading to her residence, he saw another man looking through the window and sweating, so Muscles started “doing bad” in the avenue and threatening to stop paying every cent of the rent and calling her by names never before heard of.

She remained silent and took it all.

By the evening, tables turned and the parro lookalike was down by his home in a cozy neighbourhood near a school, and, in the presence of his wife, she unleashed salvos unlike no other.

When she was through, the former security guard had nowhere to turn.

Residents say it’s only by the grace of the grandmother that he is still in the house.

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