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DEAR CHRISTINE: Sex talk should begin at home

Barbados Nation

DEAR CHRISTINE: Sex talk should begin at home

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Dear Christine,

PLEASE keep up the good work and may God bless you immensely.

I am hoping my letter does not get placed in the “do not publish” basket, but that you’ll share what I have sent you with your readers.

For some time now, I have been reading about parents who can’t decide who should inform their children about sex; the fact that same-sex relationships are not the “family type” relationships God intended for mankind, and that abstaining from sex outside of marriage is still “the best way”.

Some people argue that the teachers should do it. Others say it’s the parents’ job. Still, there is a common belief that the church should take full responsibility when it comes to teaching about moral values. Am I wrong to assume that teachers, parents and the church all have roles to play in explaining the facts of life to children? I thought the idea of teaching children at home, school and the “confines” of the church was to protect and educate the next generation.

No guidance

Teenagers complain that their teachers can’t get past the biology of it all. They dwell so much on hormones that by the end of class, nearly half the children are asleep or confused. Teachers don’t like to talk about the touchy-feely stuff (at least they didn’t when I was in secondary school). If children want to discuss issues such as whether or not oral sex is healthy, the various body changes they will go through as teenagers or whether masturbation or homosexuality is wrong, they usually have to rely on their friends, movies, magazines and so on. In many cases, the information which they receive is erroneous and they end up going down the wrong path.

The parents are usually no better than the teachers. They shouldn’t wait for their children – especially their teenagers – to start asking questions. Sex isn’t something that you shut up in a closet, then bring out and dust off when a child comes of age. Sex education starts when a parent tells a child where it’s okay and not okay to be touched or to touch someone.

If a 16- or 17-year-old comes home and suddenly asks his or her parent’s opinion about sex, it’s probably already too late. But if that happens to be the case, treating the teen as if he or she has committed a mortal sin will only make the situation worse.

Christine, I’ll like to hear your view.

– C.G.


Dear C.G.,

I hold the same view that you do. I believe it is the duty of each parent first and foremost, both the mother and the father, to enlighten children on sexuality, the importance of abstinence, sexual morality and all the questions curious minds will ask about sex.

In other words, sexual education should begin at home – as early as possible – between a mother (female) and dad (male). That’s my take and moral stance.

The school and church also have roles to play in the sexual education of children. However, the views of the parents, if they are Christian parents, can sometimes be overridden by the non-Christian values of others.

I say this to say that some children are completely confused by the non-biblical teachings and beliefs of various organisations and people. Sadly, not every person within a particular denomination or “religious sect” will hold the same view.

Many parents – those from the “old school” and even younger parents today – have failed and continually fail to talk about sex and the consequences of becoming sexually active at a young age.

I have been told of cases where children were abused before the age of two and the lack of proper sexual education resulted in some teenagers having three or more children by the age of 20.

It is easy to cast blame on parents, the church and the school. At times parents and these institutions do their utmost best to lead children along the right path. However, each individual – both children and adults – has the right to make his or her own choices, sometimes to their own detriment.

Despite the teaching, almost all of us are guilty of making wrong choices, won’t you say? However, the teaching remains vital. Many have looked back in regret for not adhering to such teaching.


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