TONI THORNE: What men don’t like about women
LAST WEEK I compiled a list for men. After conducting some research among a group of men, this week’s column will focus on a list of don’ts for the ladies.
“Be on time. This nonsense about being fashionably late is a ‘no-no’. If you are interested in the guy, respect his time.” said Phil Lewis. Many of my male friends have asked that I also point out that constant lateness comes across as very irresponsible, selfish and immature.
“Women need to understand that if I am an ambitious man (which I am) and they are dating me, I do not have time to be on the phone throughout the day.” One male stated that he has never been as busy as he is now.
The person he dates messages him on Whatsapp every minute. There are instances where her messages unintentionally go unanswered. Men do not like the rude responses such as “As I was saying to myself” or the 12 question marks which signify that we want an answer and want it now. Truth is, if women want a man who is productive, he cannot be on social media all the time.
One male asked that I highlight a popular habit among some women of posting everything that happens in the relationship on social media.
Posting a picture is enough for some men but when we women post the card message, that is definitely delving into the extreme. Interestingly, according to the associate, it makes “hounding women” approach your men because they also want to receive what you are receiving. At first, I thought this was the associate taking himself too seriously but then I was told by other men that it is the truth. There must be moments in your relationship that are intimate.
“Wunna want real men but loaded with make-up, fake nails and fake hair – things that just tell us that wunna real vain!”.
I cackled at this one because nobody wants to date BOBO The Clown, but nobody wants to date someone who is always “PD” (popped down).
I guess we need to know when and where, ladies.
Men want reciprocity. We are living in a time where we have been the closest to equality that we have ever been. We aren’t in ideal circumstances as yet, but many women work for or make more than their male counterparts. As a result, we should offer to pay for the date at times. Men may usually decline but insist and still pay. If we had the intention to pay, we should honour it by doing so. We should never want to come across as an opportunist or user. Ladies, let us show a little independence and take some initiative.
Many of us women get all “hot and sweaty” in the beginning stages of a relationship and consent to doing things which we would not normally do or approve of.
For example, “Sure, honey, you know I am no stress. Of course you can go to the strip club every Friday with the boys.” Fast forward six months, you are quarrelling with the man about why a strange number is in his phone.
Speaking of intimacy, perhaps we should at times leave our phones alone. From my research, men have found the constant need to update our girlfriends on Whatsapp about our date to be very unattractive. Men like attention just as much as we do.
What we should reserve for our girlfriends are the latest updates on our favourite television shows. It should also be noted that men find gossip to be a huge turn-off. If you are dating a man who loves gossip, run for the hills.
To conclude, every man I conversed with asked that I write the importance for us women conducting ourselves with certain attributes – decency, dignity and respect. Having the latest brand name and cannot string together a sentence will not cut it.
Having an entire social group know intimate details about us will not cut it.
Always ready for a ‘do-down’, gossip session or pulling down others is not acceptable.
The men are preaching this Sunday. Be blessed.
Toni Thorne is a young entrepreneur and World Economic Forum Global Shaper who loves global youth culture, a great debate and living in paradise. Email:[email protected]