LOOKA, cut down the damn tree! Cause I can’t understand this foolishness. If as they say, the stinking smell up at Combermere School coming from a particular tree, well cut it down. What so hard about that?
Seriously, I tired hearing bout the foolishness. You mean to tell me that last year them shut down the school for a few months to deal with environmental issues, teachers and students were getting sick and gine home every day, them say them had gas leaks and other things ’bout the place, them spend thousands of dollars fixing these problems, and now the same thing happening again?
So this time the excuse is a tree. But if the smell from the tree making people sick, if every other day they shutting down the school and sending home people, common sense should tell dem to cut down the damn tree.
And if you see the tree, it ain’t nothing special, it don’t give fruit, it don’t sprout magic beans, it wasn’t planted by Adam and Eve, it ain’t got no historical value, so cut down the damn tree.
You see, I am a proud student of Combermere School, so it does humbug me to see the school always in the news for the wrong reasons. Plus I got a child gine there too, so when she calls me at work to tell me that school closing early because of the smell from the tree, I does feel like gine in town, buying a cutlass and gine up there and cutting down the damn tree myself.
I know you gine tell me that the last time you hear ’bout guv’ment cutting down a tree ’bout here it cost the taxpayers ’bout $15 000, and yes I remember that ackee tree and all the controversy surrounding it.
So I know you worried ’bout how money does get spent in guv’ment. You worried that thousands of dollars gine get spent on consultants, engineers and treeologists, who gine come, look at the tree, spend a month to write a report and then recommend cutting down the damn tree.
But I telling you, all them got to do is cook a pot o’ food and put some cold beers and spirits somewhere close by, and we got old scholars from Combermere who would come up there, talk some igrunce, drink a beverage and cut down the damn tree and take it away for free.
Listen, when I was there we had igrunt smells too, ’cause back then deodorant wasn’t so popular, so imagine how the class used to smell with 30 sweaty boys who now come from running ’bout playing football. And I certain that some o’ them armpits had teachers choking but nobody didn’t use to go home sick, but these is different times.
Look, the Bible says if your right hand offends you to cut it off, so what you think it would say ’bout a useless tree?
I remember them had a woman near my district that had a sweet pawee mango tree, and people would pelt up in the tree for the mangoes, and every now and then somebody would lick out a glass window in the woman’s house.
One evening she was in the yard bathing and a rock came over the paling and hit her and the very next day she had the mango tree chop down.
You understand what I mean? When something giving trouble especially when it is more trouble than profit you get rid of it. So cut down the damn tree. See ya.
e-mail: madderic@hotmail.com twitter@madderic
