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TONI THORNE: Whys and wherefores of the alpha female


TONI THORNE: Whys and wherefores of the alpha female

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The Evening Standard wrote on a group of females – one of whom was a classmate of mine at Warwick University.

She is now an investment banker and the article was about “The Alpha Female”.

I searched the Internet for a most credible definition of the term ‘alpha female’ and decided it was best, for the readers, to highlight common characteristics that bind women such as Beyoncé, Rihanna and Oprah instead.

Confident not arrogant

The alpha female is very confident. She understands the fact that arrogance is a social divider and an obnoxious cloak for insecurities. A wrong assumption about alpha females is that they have very little insecurities.

The alpha female is human. Of course, she has insecurities. The difference is that she is more aware of her insecurities than anyone else and has mastered the way she deals with said insecurities.

Ms Alpha is usually very stylish. Always classy, never trashy. Although stylish, this does not mean that she is a slave to trends or what Barbadians refer to as “name brand”.

The alpha female is never overly concerned about the repercussions of walking away from negative situations. I recently saw a meme on Instagram which said “Ain’t lost a friend I want back”. This is the alpha female’s perspective on relationships. As Anna Wintour stated, “ever forward”. Encounters with negative people or harmful situations are seen as lessons. This propensity to easily walk away from relationships makes the alpha difficult to understand – especially in a world where everyone wants to fit in.

Assertive of her femininity

Unfortunately, in this era, popular media has blurred the lines of this topic. Many women now wrongfully assume that being sexually assertive equates to being too forward. This results in men constantly being turned off. There are some women who confuse assertiveness with being “thirsty” and send inappropriate pictures of themselves to men in instances where they should simply be flirting or engaging in witty banter.

I have a friend who now works at the largest television distribution company in Africa. For years, upon hearing her many work stories, I would cackle and say in a rank Barbadian accent “Girl, you ain easy”. Most women would become coy and try to come across as less aggressive with their competitiveness. Not Jules.

Jules is an alpha female. Her philosophy is “I’m in it to win. The entire concept of winning means that somewhere there must be competition”.

No pushover

Alphas are never afraid of confrontation. She is aware that confrontations will occasionally happen. However, it is not something that she encourages. When people feel as though they are being treated unfairly, they react in two ways.

With the first way, some allow themselves to be ill-treated. They worry bout the loss of friends or the opponents promoting a totally distorted story of what the truth is.

For a while, this person may worry and prefer to be unfaired all in the name of “peace”. However, it is not peace. It is submission. This type of person is not the alpha female.

The alpha female speaks up and defends herself in the most uncomfortable situations.

The alpha female will stand alone even when the illusion is that the entire world is against her. She, like pop star Kesha, will take an entire corporation to court all in the name of principle.

Why? Because the alpha female is never and will never be a pushover.

Toni Thorne is a young entrepreneur and World Economic Forum Global Shaper who loves global youth culture, a great debate and living in paradise. Email [email protected]