DEAR CHRISTINE: He’s hiding his family from me

Dear Christine,

I RECENTLY READ an article about a woman who married a man whose family she had never met overseas. He brought some of them to the island before they were married, but he refused to let her visit them in their country. She also said he was controlling some aspects of her life.

I am afraid I may be facing the same issue and I am very concerned. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over 16 months, but instead of talking about introducing me to his parents and other relatives, he is talking about eloping.

I am a citizen of . . . and he is from . . . . We met during a social event. While he said he was living on the island for over five years, he seemed to have few friends and has never invited his family to . . . . He now wants us to elope.

I have never been introduced to his parents, never seen a photo of them and never ever heard their voices on a phone. He said “they are not able to travel” and that his two siblings have their own families to take care of.

Initially, he had said we would visit his family and get married in their country. Suddenly, he changed his mind and said he preferred for us to elope. Am I wrong in thinking something is amiss? Or, did that letter just trigger some sort of paranoia on my part?

– I.J.

Dear I.J.,

I’ll say you have every reason to be worried and concerned. As some people would say, “something fishy is going on”.

Do not agree to marry this man who does not seem to have a past. Tell him you’ll like to meet his relatives and that if he can travel to another country to tie the knot, it’s better for him to do so where his “family” resides.

For all you know, you could be marrying an ex-con or a murderer on the loose. No! I am not being paranoid. It’s just that these days, one cannot be careful enough.

He definitely appears to be hiding something. Until you meet his folks, don’t say “I do”.

– CHRISTINE