Dear Christine,
I’M TOTALLY FED UP with a situation which my wife has allowed to get out of control. Although I have spoken to her about it she has done nothing and I am at my wit’s end.
My wife gives English classes at our home on weekends – Saturdays to be exact. There are at least six children (between the ages of 9 and 11) at any given time. I find that a few of them have little or no manners at all. Their parents are no different. The children use the bathrooms and leave them a little too dirty for me. They also open the refrigerator whenever they want water, or, when they are taking out their juices and snacks, without even checking with “the teacher” or me if I am there.
When the children begin to explore the rooms the parents either join them or just sit around without doing anything about it. Increasingly, I am finding these people’s manners to be appalling. One day I found a parent going through my cupboard.
Not even my bedroom is out of bounds. While there are two bathrooms, on more than one occasion, the children have entered our master bathroom when the other one was in use.
I want parents to know they should teach their children how to behave when they visit other people’s homes and that they too, should respect other person’s property and privacy.
I hope those who read this letter and know they are guilty will make the necessary adjustments.– SAM
Dear SAM:
I am in agreement with you but I also believe that as the man of the house you are the one who must set boundaries. Your wife must also set the necessary perimeters.
Some of what you have described is truly appalling. I cannot imagine young people walking into a couple’s private bathroom without first asking or adults searching through cupboards. Are you really telling me the truth?
Don’t go blaming your wife for letting all the above get out of control; point your finger at you also. You’re either king of your castle or you’re not. If you are, act like it and lay down the rules.
If your wife needs to be treated like one of the students, put her to sit down and give her a lesson on the dos and don’ts of what takes place in your home; those things which are allowed and those things which are not.
If you do not have “the guts” to deal with how you control your house, a sure way to enforce any rules would be to have them neatly typed and displayed where students and parents can read. Better yet, you can give each parent and student a copy of what’s permissible and what’s not. That should solve the problem, don’t you think?
Your wife should also give her students lessons on etiquette. – CHRISTINE
