FLYING FISH AND COU COU: Consultant in hot seat

THE GURUS OF money management in this little island want the chief guru to account for the way funds were spent, especially at a time when the bottom line has now been highlighted in red.

A number of them met recently while the chief guru was overseas and have decided that he should explain to the fellow from Goodland and, indeed, the people of this fair land, why so much money was spent on a consultancy which was nothing but a failure.

This chief of gurus, now referred to by the ostracised front-line captains as the short messiah, say that tens of thousands upon thousands in foreign  exchange was given for the report.

Apparently it was rejected by a number of people who had eyes to see it and now it has been thrown into File 13.

The group of captains, who are no longer consulted in any way, are fed up and frustrated with the way things are going on from the building with a magnificent view of much of the land. They are saying that it is wrong to have people from the lower levels sitting down in the Pine and making critical decisions while those with the knowledge and experience are left to merely mark time and enjoy the panoramic view.

Some plan to ask a nearby high priest to say a special prayer for the short messiah.

The Duke strikes back

IT WAS SURE to happen. Some loudmout’s decided to attack the retired Duke’s prize project, saying how bad it looked and that it was not worth the paper its name was written on. Well, all the subjects knew that would not have gone down well and the backlash was certain to come, as night follows day and goes around again.

So the Duke decided to show who really is the Big Maguffy of Solidarity. Well, the opportunity quickly presented itself and from under the table he gave the orders to tell his friends and the faithful to lend a hand and show who has the power in this fair land.

Never again must people mistreat his favourite cross-breed dog LACU with such abuse and not feel the repercussions. Meanwhile, LACU has run fat and become a most inefficient guard dog.

Defender of the realm

Word is that a certain luminary recently penned an opinion outlining his objections to the way some people who do not reside in beautiful Barbados were pulling down the country. Apparently, this man had had enough of the attacks on the good character of this fair land and indeed on his elite troops.

The letter sought to let those who keep running their mouths on this little island that things were not the picture they painted. The author felt that some of the efforts to denigrate the integrity and uprightness of the people were unfair, unreasonable and without merit. They were simply opening their mouths and letting damaging words fall out without being privy to all the facts. After all, a lot of uninformed people, and many who may not even be speaking to the issues,  were now heard daily on the radio stations, often talking a lot of foolishness.

To make matters worse, the newspapers are filled with uninformed views and even opinion pieces written by otherwise sensible and reasonable men also supporting a position of ignorance. Of course, the talk can be heard on almost every street.

The luminary seemed to forget that this is little England and not a protégé of the USA and therefore sought to speak out loud on the matter..

But when an ally of this who frequents Bay Street saw the parchment and the beautifully scribed words he shouted: “Do not give guidance to yourself. My word of wisdom is not to reply but to work with those to resolve the problems at three points of entry.”

The letter is now there and will be part of memorabilia and the author is trying to put it to music, which he loves as a way to get peace of mind.