DEAR CHRISTINE: Feeling lonely in this relationship
I REALISE you give people very good advice. I hope that you can do the same for me.
I am a 29-year-old woman and I have been in a relationship for the past four years, and sometimes I have the strongest urge to get out of it.
The person with whom I am involved is very kind-hearted, but often I feel neglected as his work means more to him than me.
He usually comes by me and I have to finish all the work like cleaning, cooking, washing and pressing. He just doesn’t seem to want to help me. We hardly carry on a conversation and most of the time when I am talking to him, he barely listens. It’s as if I am talking to myself.
When he gets to talking it’s always about money and what this and that person has. He acts as if he is not interested in me anymore. I really don’t know what to do.
I asked a year or so ago if he’s dealing with anyone else and he said no, but when I am up by him and the phone rings, it’s one of his women friends. The way how he fidgets with himself, as if he’s uncomfortable, makes me wonder.
He’s a good person and treats his mother like a queen, so I know any woman would want to be with him. I feel if he says he’s finished, it will break my heart.
Please help me as I need some serious advice.
I know love is patient, and kind and forgiving, but there must be a limit to how much of this you are willing to give to a relationship, which does not reciprocate in any way.
To continue in the face of what you’ve told me, loving this man is clear evidence that you do not love yourself, and this should not be.
Surely by no stretch of the imagination will you find happiness with such a person.
He might be a good Christian and treats his mother like royally, but what he does to you should also count.
And don’t go fooling yourself that any woman would want him – unless like you they are blinded by love. Some are, but not all.
If you continue to settle for what he offers, you’ve only yourself to blame.
Broken hearts can mend, yours will if you will find the courage to face the truth about this going-nowhere relationship.