DEAR CHRISTINE: My husband and I have been married for five years.
He has been a good husband, and yet one thing bothers me: Will a man claim to be happily married yet also look at porn? He knows I don’t like this, but he continues to look at it behind my back.
At times I feel hurt. I feel if he likes to look at other pretty, sexy women, then he’s not happy with what he has at home. Should I be worried? Is he sick, or is this normal behaviour for men?
Since he never does it in front of me, should I pretend I don’t know about it and choose my battles? – UNSURE WIFE
Dear Unsure Wife,
There was a time when the sight of a woman’s ankle was considered sexy and both sexes were entirely covered up when going to the beach. Men have always been attracted to visual stimulation, and today there is no shortage of temptation in that area.
In some cases, this behaviour can actually help a couple’s sex life; in other relationships it can be very harmful.
If you are having enough satisfying sex in your relationship, my advice would be to ignore this behaviour. If, on the other hand, you wish you were getting more sexual satisfaction out of your marriage, or are getting none at all, then that is an area that needs to be worked on.
So whether you ignore what he is doing or not depends on your view of your married life. For example, you might find that you’re better off having him spend half an hour looking at porn now and then rather than spending four or five hours in a shop or at a game, abandoning you.
– CHRISTINE
