Friday, April 19, 2024

Just a li’l hole, Minister Jones

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THE FELLOWS in Dodds partying already. They love Minister Jones.

One big fellow was indignant. “Man, I agree with the minister. All I had pun me was a li’l spliff. And look where I is now. A convict for life. You t’ink dat is right? Jailing a big man like me with children to support for a li’l spliff? Wha’ ’bout all o’ dem rich people with dem fancy boats that does bring in all de cocaine dat really messing up people? Huh? Tell me, wha’ ’bout dem?”

His partner was just as indignant. “I agree wid you, man. And I can say de same thing. Dem lock me up for five years. And fuh wuh? Having a unlicensed gun. Man, gimme a break. You see what people in de States does walk ’bout with? Them does have guns, bejinx, that longer than a man. And nobody can’t do them nutting. And me? All I had was a li’l gun. And a few li’l bullets. Steupse.”

Another yout’ joined in: “Listen, dude, I can onderstan’ them putting you up for guns, but how ’bout me? I is a poor black man. Can’t get a job no matter wha’ I do. So hear dis. I jes pull a few li’l yams from a plantation up by me. Not to sell but to give my two children a bellyful so dey can at least pass de 11-Plus. It wasn’t no truckload – jes a few li’l yams. And now I sweating in here. Dat can’t be fair.”

The news was spreading fast – that a Government minister was against jailing people for a little spliff.

A ZR driver joined in. “I doan smoke no crap. In my line of work, you need a clear head ’cause people depend on you to get them to work safely. I does drive a ZR and every day is hustle to mek ends meet. So hear what happen. I was gine ’round a corner last year. Trufe to God, I wasn’t speeding nor nuffin so. Jes driving a li’l fast. So the ZR ketch up a li’l wobble and before I know it, it overturn and a man dead. Dem say I was reckless. You believe that? And now I doing time. Man, life ain’t fair.”

The last guy to join now jumped up. “Look, wunnuh en hear nutting yet. I live wid a hard-ears, own-way woman that always trying to boss people around. One day I couldn’t tek it no more and gi’ she a backhand cross she face. It wasn’t no hard cuff. Jes a li’l slap. She go and tell some foolish police I knock out she teet’. And look where I is now. You think that is right? Um was only a li’l slap.”

Just then the siren at Dodds blared into action and guards suddenly appeared, guns at the ready. “All prisoners report to your cells immediately,” said the loudspeaker. There was an emergency. About ten prisoners just escaped and were on the loose.

The reason? A hole in the perimeter fence. Just a li’l hole.

TREVOR R. SHEPHERD

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