DEAR CHRISTINE, I HAVE BEEN MARRIED for nearly seven years and living quite happily with our children.
We have been experiencing some problems in ourmarriage for a couple of years and I was believing that it was because of my work and the time it was taking up. Now I have discovered that the problem started when my wife and a male colleague started working in the same office.
Now, she and this man have been seen shopping together. It is known he goes to her mother’s house when she is there.
I have spoken to her on this matter on many occasions but she insists that he is only a friend. He also has her cellphone number and our home number.
Whenever I speak to her on this matter, she starts to get upset, arguing that all I am trying to do is control her.
I have told her that if she continues this way, I would have no choice but to seek a separation.
She says I don’t want her to have any friends, but this is untrue. It is just that I know the man. He is separated from his wife and that he is a “player”. I have seen him in action.
Counselling is out of the question because she has refused and told me that the problem is mine and not hers.
Christine, I am seriously considering divorcing her but I do love her.
– P.C.
Dear P.C.,
The ideal thing would be that both of you attend counselling, but if your wife won’t go, then you should.
I don’t believe your complaint stems from petty jealousy. I can understand these two being in a shop together, but visiting her mother’s home when she is there and having her telephone numbers is asking too much for you to accept.
However muchshe would like youto consider this as innocent friendship, I sense a gathering closeness which can only hurt your marriage. Surely your hubby would not want you to be as close as she is with a “friend” who is female.
It is totally unreasonable to expect you to accept the situation.
– CHRISTINE
