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DEAR CHRISTINE: Is younger lover really the one?


DEAR CHRISTINE: Is younger lover really the one?

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Dear Christine,

I AM A 38-YEAR-OLD woman who has been dating a 32-year-old man for three months.

When I realised that I had developed strong feelings for him, I decided to ask him what his feelings were about our friendship and where he saw it going. Keep in mind he has no children, and I have two from a previous marriage.

He told me he has developed feelings for me, too, but that he wants to have children of his own someday. I respect and understand his honesty. He also said he was scared, and that in the past when he has felthe was getting too closeto someone, he wouldpull away. That suggests to me that he is commitment-phobic.

My problem is that he continues to call me several times a day and every night before he goes to bed – although we have not been spending as much time together as we did in the past. Am I wasting my time? Should I start dating other people? I care a lot about my friend and would like to be with him.

– BM

Dear BM,

Three months is such a short time to start planning a future around someone whom you hardly know. I believe that your friend is willing togo the whole nine yards with you, but you have to be realistic and patient in the whole process.

He has to answer the questions you’re posing to me.

If he’s serious about wanting children of his own and you are not interested in having more, that could present a serious problem. If you are interested, then there is also the issue of your biological clock.

Since you two spend more time chatting on the telephone, you should feel free to ask your questions.

Whatever you do, do not rush your friend. It is best that both of you take your time to grow your relationship.