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I CONFESS: I let the wrong man get too close


BARBADOS NATION

I CONFESS: I let the wrong man get too close

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LADIES, BE CAREFUL falling asleep after sex. The man may take a picture of your private parts and send it to his friends.

That happened to me and though he never took a picture of my face, I was deeply embarrassed.

To him the whole thing was no big deal because he never showed my face and never said it was me. But the fact that he did that unbeknownst to me speaks volumes of what he was capable of, and therefore I chose not to have anything to do with him after that.

The sad thing was that I really cared for this man. He and I were going out for months, though we never had intercourse as I did not trust him – but then I don’t trust men.

What had me hesitant was that he seemed like a wannabe player – one of those who don’t have the looks, chat and cash to be openly so, but one who was charming enough to quietly bed as many women as possible.

So I kept him at bay though I continued to go out with him. All the while I was assessing him. He finally got on my good side when something went wrong with my car and it cost $1 300 to fix. I did not have the money and was stressing about having to go to the credit union to borrow it. And that would have been a problem because I had already maxed out my limit to purchase a spot of land only two months or so earlier. So I was frantic.

But without being asked he gave me 13 Grantleys in cash and told me I can pay him back when I organised the loan. And if I did not get a loan, as I could afford.

I was blown away because it was an unselfish act. But just to make sure, I told him that by giving me this money did not mean he was my man and that I was going to bed with him.

His response clinched my affection for him. He said sex was not everything. He wanted someone worthwhile in his life to be his companion and with whom he could build a life. So he did not want sex with me for the money.

As I said, that blew me away because these days no man gives a woman anything for nothing.

Though what he said suggested he was serious, I needed more proof that he was genuine. So just in case of anything, I drew up an IOU and signed it and began paying him back $200 a month, and paid him with a cheque to ensure I had a record of the transactions.

All the while we continued going out without being intimate.

After about four months I decided I was going to let it happen. We were supposed to go out and he was going to pass for me as usual, but I decided without telling him that I would go for him.

So I called to find out if he was at home and he said he was about to head into the shower. But he assured that as usual he would be on time as he knows I can’t stand unpunctuality.

Unbeknown to him I was dressed and as soon as we finished talking I set off and got by his house in about 20 minutes. When I knocked on his door he was shocked to see me but let me in and hurriedly went to his bedroom to put on clothes as he only had on a towel around his waist.

That was my cue. I followed him and pushed him onto the bed and it happened. I ended up spending the whole night there and after our sessions, woke up early the next morning.

After that the relationship just took off. I felt closer to him and given the way we talked, I was really happy that I had waited and tried to get to know him well first.

About two months after that eventful night I went with him to a sports bar that he had never taken me before. I thought I saw a couple of his friends staring at me and smiling. I got curious, but didn’t dwell on it until my boyfriend went to the washroom and one of his friends started telling me how sexy I looked.

I began telling him how disrespectful he was to even approach me knowing his friend and I were involved. That’s when he made the comment that I was playing so great now, but does skin-up like every other woman.

Those were fighting words. But just when I was going to let go, my boyfriend returned and said let’s go.

It was when we were walking outside, with him apologising for his friend’s behaviour and putting it down to drinking too much, the guy followed and shouted words to the effect that I think I am somebody but he knows what I look like and mentioned the tattoo around my belly button.

There was no way anyone could know that unless they saw me without clothes.

That’s when it clicked. Could my man have taken a picture of me?

I asked him there and then, but he denied it. So I told him I was going to go back in the bar and find out what the guy meant.

He stopped me and apologised. Then he admitted he had taken a picture of my privates as I slept and had sent it to his best friend, who in turn sent it to other people. He said that he has denied to everyone who saw it that it was me, but they still feel so.

I was horrified. I trusted this man and he violated that trust big time. I made him delete the pictures on his phone there and then, and warned him if any picture of me naked ever goes viral that I would report him to the police. That was nearly three years ago and nothing so has ever happened. Thank God for that.

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