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DEAR CHRISTINE: She told my fiancé I had abortion


DEAR CHRISTINE: She told my fiancé I had abortion

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Dear Christine,

MY BOYFRIEND and I are planning to get married in December. I have known him for the past three years and we’ve had a really good thing going between us during that time. 

My female friend also knows him, as we all attended the same school. I tell my friend quite a number of things about me. In fact, we are so close that we share almost everything.

Well, things were going good between us until my boyfriend asked me to marry him. She is not married, but her boyfriend has been friends with her for about five years.

When she heard that I was getting married, she suddenly changed. She would still call me, and we would still hang out together, but there was the coldness which I felt for myself.

Everything came out in the open when my fiancé questioned me about if I was ever pregnant. The truth is, I was pregnant when I was 17 years old but had an abortion. It is something that I regretted doing, but what’s in the past is in the past. 

Why did she see a need to mention this to him? When I asked her, she said she was a bit jealous of the fact that I was getting married after three years of courting, while her boyfriend, with whom she had been for five years, had not indicated to her even once, that he wanted to marry her.

Christine, I am thankful that my fiancé asked the question, got my answer then decided it was all part of my past and not something he was too worried about. 

I have forgiven my friend for trying to slander my name. I do not hold it against her at all. In fact, I feel sorry for her. 

She was supposed to be my maid of honour and I still want her to be. I just want readers to know that jealousy never pays off. It only damages relationships. 

Do you think I am doing the right thing, in keeping her as a friend?

– R.C.


Dear R.C.,

People make mistakes all the time and sometimes our best friends are our worst enemies. However, we cannot keep people in our minds, as people would usually say. 

If you have forgiven her, then so be it. Forgive her and move on. 

She was honest enough to admit her own faults. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. Of course, I know you’d be cautious about what you say to her in the future, but don’t let this incident put a bridge between you two.