DEAR CHRISTINE, I am 30 and dated a woman for about five years. She dumped me as soon as she got her first job – with no explanation.
All she said was she “needed to be alone for a while”, but she could see herself marrying me and having kids with me “eventually”. I accepted it and tried to move on.
She has stayed in touch for the last two years, but we have not been together or intimate. She calls me nearly every night before she goes to bed. I never call her or go to her house.
I talk to her because I don’t want to be rude, but I’d prefer not to. I mean, what’s the point? When we split, I told her I didn’t want contact, but she seemed so devastated when I said it that I backed off.
Would it be wrong for me to completely cut off communication? How do I do it nicely?
I loved her once, but her constant calls don’t allow me closure. Even if she asked me now to get back together, I wouldn’t. She hurt me when she broke it off with no explanation, and I no longer trust her. What should I do?
– N.C.
Dear N.C.,
Do you have to pick up the telephone when she calls? There comes a time in life when we must draw the line when someone hurts us.
The next time this woman calls to say good night, tell her it’s not good night, it’s goodbye, because you no longer want to dwell in the past. Believe me, you’ll be doing yourself a big favour.
– CHRISTINE
