DEAR CHRISTINE, I have been married for 12 years and my husband and I have two children.
They came somewhat late in our marriage, and they are quite young and confused with what’s happening at home.
You see, I am just not interested in making love. My husband does not turn me on and to make matters worse, when I refuse, he stops talking to me and snaps at the children.
Christine, this situation is getting me down and I just do not know what to do. Although I am not happy with the way he treats me, I can better stand it than the children.
Have you any thoughts on how we can be helped in solving this problem?
– G.A.
Dear G.A.,
It looks to me as though a vicious circle has been created. You do not welcome your husband’s lovemaking – that makes him miserable and bad-tempered – so that he is cross with you and the children, which I suppose makes you all the more reluctant to get close to him.
I urge you to make every effort to tackle this problem, starting out with being tactful in how you tell your husband about your feelings, or lack of feelings, for him where this matter is concerned.
A man often feels more strongly about his sexual prowess than a woman does, and expressions like “you leave me cold”, or “you do not turn me on” would most likely wound his pride.
Perhaps his approach is sudden and selfish. If that or anything else is the case, then tell him gently.
It takes time and mutual effort to find sexual harmony, but if you care for your husband and family, you’ll make everyeffort to achieve a happier situation.
Whether my suggestions will work or not is another matter. Some things go too far to be corrected, but I am hoping that’s not so in your case.
– CHRISTINE
