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DEAR CHRISTINE: Six years – and still waiting for marriage proposal


DEAR CHRISTINE: Six years – and still waiting for marriage proposal

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Dear Christine,

I AM A REGULAR reader of your column and always appreciate the advice you give. I never thought I would write to you but I am too embarrassed to discuss my problems with any of my girlfriends because of the happy go lucky impression I always give them.

I am 36 years old and was going steady with my boyfriend, whom I love very much, for the past nine years, six of which wewere engaged.

At first we talked about getting married quickly. We did not want to rent, so we built a house which has been completed for over a year and my boyfriend has moved in.

He has hinted that I move in with him, but I am always reminded that my mother lived with my father for 25 years and in the end he put her out, along with my other brothers and sisters and married someone a little older than I am.

We have talked about having children and every year he says “next year”. All of my friends have at least one child and when I see them my heart hurts for one of my own. I can afford to support one of my own since I have a very good job and consider myself to be a reasonable adult. I always give the impression to my friends that I am not bothered about not being married and not having a child but, Christine, I am.

I get very depressed when I am alone and recently I have not been eating or sleeping well. I do not seem to have the courage to discuss these subjects with my boyfriend although I am able to communicate freely about everything else.

I am always wondering how my girlfriends got their husbands to propose but I am too ashamed to ask them. I feel my boyfriend should be the one to bring up the subject.

Am I wrong? Please give me your advice as soon as possible.


Dear Waiting,

You have waited far too long and both of you seem to be stuck somewhere in time. Six years is a mighty long time to wait around hoping that your fiancé will ask the question. The house has been built, so why the waiting?

I want to help you and so I hope that you will follow my advice.

If you cannot talk to him directly go the route of writing a letter bearing your heart’s desire to your boyfriend. I suggest this method since you feel embarrassed to talk about it.

Perhaps he is not making a move in the direction you would like because it does not seem to be a matter of importance to you.

The same attitude you show to your friends is perhaps the same impression he gets from you.

Please do as I ask . . . and please write and let me know the outcome. I don’t think that I or anyone need to tell you what to say. You have a gift of words and when you write from your heart to him as you have done to me. I feel some good will come from it.