DEAR CHRISTINE: Six years – and still waiting for marriage proposal
I AM A REGULAR reader of your column and always appreciate the advice you give. I never thought I would write to you but I am too embarrassed to discuss my problems with any of my girlfriends because of the happy go lucky impression I always give them.
I am 36 years old and was going steady with my boyfriend, whom I love very much, for the past nine years, six of which wewere engaged.
At first we talked about getting married quickly. We did not want to rent, so we built a house which has been completed for over a year and my boyfriend has moved in.
He has hinted that I move in with him, but I am always reminded that my mother lived with my father for 25 years and in the end he put her out, along with my other brothers and sisters and married someone a little older than I am.
We have talked about having children and every year he says “next year”. All of my friends have at least one child and when I see them my heart hurts for one of my own. I can afford to support one of my own since I have a very good job and consider myself to be a reasonable adult. I always give the impression to my friends that I am not bothered about not being married and not having a child but, Christine, I am.
I get very depressed when I am alone and recently I have not been eating or sleeping well. I do not seem to have the courage to discuss these subjects with my boyfriend although I am able to communicate freely about everything else.
I am always wondering how my girlfriends got their husbands to propose but I am too ashamed to ask them. I feel my boyfriend should be the one to bring up the subject.
Am I wrong? Please give me your advice as soon as possible.
You have waited far too long and both of you seem to be stuck somewhere in time. Six years is a mighty long time to wait around hoping that your fiancé will ask the question. The house has been built, so why the waiting?
I want to help you and so I hope that you will follow my advice.
If you cannot talk to him directly go the route of writing a letter bearing your heart’s desire to your boyfriend. I suggest this method since you feel embarrassed to talk about it.
Perhaps he is not making a move in the direction you would like because it does not seem to be a matter of importance to you.
The same attitude you show to your friends is perhaps the same impression he gets from you.
Please do as I ask . . . and please write and let me know the outcome. I don’t think that I or anyone need to tell you what to say. You have a gift of words and when you write from your heart to him as you have done to me. I feel some good will come from it.